MY MASTERPIECE

By Howard Menkes

I told my friends, "I'm going to take a class, to learn

      to be an artist!"

"And even if I'm not the smartest, I'll be the best, 

      because I'll work the hardest!"

My friends said, "You can't do that, you're just a

      weekend hobbyist!"

But I said, "You just watch me, I'll succeed, because

      I'm a full time optimist!"

When I got to school, I saw the teacher was a genius,

      and so was half the class

I knew I'd have to come up with a masterpiece, if I'd

      have any chance to pass

I thought I'd create my masterpiece with papier

      maché

But I decided it'd be easier to sculpt it out of clay

It started out a statue; It ended up an ashtray!

I'd hoped to be a famous sculptor like Michelangelo

But my teacher said, "Forget marble, work with Play

      Doh!"

I molded and pounded the Play Doh with a mallet

      and elbow grease

But when I was finished, I still had an ashtray for

      my masterpiece!

And though the other students produced worked of

      art, I didn't feel like a fool

Because I knew I'd made the best ashtray in the

      whole entire school!