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THE VAN SCHNOOZLEBERG FILE

By Howard Menkes

Cuff Link returned from London, the hero of

Scotland Yard

Having recovered Royal treasures pilfered by the

Palace Guard

Hailed and hallowed throughout his native town,

New York

He was home but one day, when he got

the Case of the Missing Silver Fork

The Silver Fork, a pastry chef's most cherished

award

Gone and now offered for a Fifty-Thousand dollar

reward

The Van Schnoozleberg Sisters were this year's Silver

For recipients

And were certain their trophy had been stolen by

dietary miscreants

Everyone loved how the Van Schnoozleberg cookies

crumbled and their bread would leaven

And the chocolate mousse cake so airy, it was like a

little slice of Heaven

So it was no surprise when they won the Silver Fork

for their Double Lemon Tart

The Head Judge declaring, "This isn't food, this

pastry's art!"

The Sisters treasured the Silver Fork until Tuesday,

when it was missing from their kitchen

And promptly dialed 991 to demand, "We want Cuff

Link on this mission!"

Cuff dropped by their kitchen for a spot of tea and

chat

To uncover clues as to where the missing Fork was at

The Van Schnoozleberg Sisters implored Cuff link

to find their priceless prize

Cuff considered this the perfect time to go

undercover in disguise

"If I dress like strawberry shortcake and hide in a

bakery, it just might work!"

"But on second thought, I might only look like a

whip cream covered jerk!"

"Maybe I'll find a suspect, and check upon an

alibi!"

Thus Cuff Link considered, as he had his tea and

pie

But suddenly there was a metallic CLANG!

as Cuff Link bit into the crust

And said, "Gracious, Ladies! You've baked the

Silver Fork into the pie, and now it's begun

to rust!"